I’m not sure when I wrote this. I’m not sure it’s all my content - but I found this tucked away in an old notebook of mine. So I though I’d share them - just in case this might be handy to you right now.

In no particular order - here is my 40 point guide to recovering from a break-up.

1. Call in your allies

2. Give yourself time

3. Grieve…

Getting back to basics!!

This is something I find myself coming back to again and again. We can get so stuck down the rabbit hole of looking for solutions to help to improve the way we feel.

However if we don't have these three basics nailed, it's really challenging to work on improving anything else.

We need sleep, rest relaxation and downtime. We need to have a good solid nutritious diet, and sometimes supplements too. And we need movement in our lives. Movement is associated with improved mental health, physical health and general overall well-being.

“The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is now.”

I had this saying wrong. I thought it was: “The best time to plant a tree was yesterday. The second best time is now”. But it came in very handy when I was explaining the importance of the quote. Even though I got it wrong (which makes me feel like my mother.)

The benefit of getting it wrong actually helped me to understand the real crux of the quote.

When you fuck up. As we do. Often. And you wake up from a 10 year drug / drunken filled haze, full of regret, sorrow, self-pity and repeats of ‘why have I wasted so much time??!!’ (Fill in your own regret / moment of realisation above.)

Stop.

Because although the best time to start getting your shit together was 10 years ago, the second best time is now.

WHAT DO I DO?

I definitely work with people who have been diagnosed with depression and or anxiety. And sometimes with people with diagnoses of bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and anorexia too. The clients I work with have all sorts of diagnoses ~ some very old diagnoses that have stuck with them over the years, although they have been completely symptom-free for many years.

Some newly diagnosed, with new symptoms, new mental health issues.

A diagnosis is a label given to help group a set of symptoms. It doesn't necessarily represent what might be going on in their bodies & minds.

Health and well-being coaching is a strength based approach to creating wellness both mentally and physically. It incorporates aspects of general life coaching (helping you get to where you want to be) and has an emphasis on health and well-being.

The aim of a health coach is to empower and inspire an individual to adopt behaviours that are conducive to the overall health and well-being of the individual in both the short and long term. The role of a health coach is to inspire self confidence, share knowledge and find ways to motivate an individual to achieve their goals.

The depressed or anxious patient who comes to see their GP may be given the option of a prescription medication, but often very little else. Talking therapy is increasingly offered, however there is often a waiting list and at times there are challenges in finding the right fit for the person - and the small issue of whether it will be funded - either through GP provider services, employee service providers or ACC. A mildly depressed or anxious individual who isn’t at risk of self-harm or suicide doesn’t need crisis input, may not need long term psychotherapy or the type of intensive care that a Community Mental Health Centre (CHMC) would provide. They often don’t need to talk about their childhood and at times have no major trauma going on in their lives (past or present) but could really benefit from some practical strategies and support to improve their mood and well-being.

Incorporating many aspects of health, well-being and life coaching, mental health coaching addresses areas in your life which you might be struggling in - for example, stress, anxiety, addiction, depression, low mood or feelings of overwhelm.

Coaching in general is a strength & future based process, focusing on where an individual would like to be and helping to create steps on how to get there. Although your past is an important part of who you are - coaching is interested in where you are heading.

Mental health coaching also emphases building resilience with the aim or

We all have times in our lives when we struggle with an overactive mind - it won’t shut off at night, it’s stuck on an old memory or trying (over and over) to figure out a solution to a problem that may not be able to be solved. Sometimes it’s just re-hashing a hurtful or painful event over and over for no apparent good reason.

Sometimes our problem solving mind just needs to stop ‘trying to work it out’ so we can get some peace and quiet, get off to sleep, focus on what we need to do in the here and now or simply to allow some calm to help reduce an anxious state.

Below is a super simple and super effective way to interrupt negative repetitive thoughts and reduce ruminative thinking - those times when a thought continues to go around and around in your mind.

Lockdown has brought to life some interesting emotions for a lot of us. We’re at home, some of us aren’t working, we have less distractions and for some of us we have increased feelings of anxiety or other challenging emotions.

Food - is - let’s face it - a wonderful distraction.

And this can cause us to feel frustrated with our best laid plans to ‘eat well’ over lock-down.

Mindful eating can be a way of encouraging awareness of what you are eating and what emotions or feelings may be driving your desire to eat!